Doug Reinhardt did us all a favor, and took Paris Hilton out of the country. That means the most we have to hear from her is Twitter updates (and that’s only if we have an unfortunate accident and stumble upon them).

The baseball player took his girl to a private island in Fiji, where they’re diving, jet skiing and sky diving. And away from cameras (we hope).

Please make the vacation looooong.

I don’t think I have the attention span to watch the entire “documentary” about Paris Hilton, but a five minute clip? That doesn’t seem too hard, right?

Well, it was. I didn’t make it all the way through. But I did enjoy seeing the footage of Paris as a child, because it shows that at least at one point, she had a personality.

And some GREAT makeup application skills…!

I have to say, it looks like the filmmakers have worked to create an emotional feeling and to portray Paris as a vulnerable human being. It would’ve helped them, though, if the subject of the movie did something besides… exist. Maybe if she fed poor people or something, you know?

Just became likable. Donald Miller would say she needs to save a cat.

Paris Hilton is big into recycling, as evidenced by her recent interest in Tony Romo.

The athlete obviously couldn’t go to waste just because Jessica Simpson was done with him. One woman’s trash is another woman’s treasure!

The heiress was on the hunt to replace her former flame, Doug Reinhardt (also an athlete). Tony Romo freed up just in time for Paris to put him on her list of possibles. She’s reportedly asked her PR team to look into setting up a date.

Isn’t it wonderful to occasionally get out of town, stay in a hotel where you don’t have to clean up after yourself, lounge around in a room that’s bugged…

Okay, the last part isn’t fun, and it doesn’t happen to many of us. But it did happen to Paris Hilton.

The socialite is currently in the United Arab Emirates to film her reality show, Paris Hilton’s My New BFF. While in her hotel bodyguards discovered a recording device in her room. No one knows where it came from or to whom it was transmitting.

Paris is understandably upset by this turn of events, but is committed to continuing production of the show.

Creepy…

After Paris broke up with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt, the Hilton family barely took time to comfort — they were too busy celebrating.

Looks like relatives thought Doug might be trying to up his own profile by dating the socialite (oh, do you think?), and was never in it for love. Paris’ aunt, Kyle Richards, confirmed to E! that the Hilton clan endorsed the split:

“The stories out there about our family not approving of their relationship are completely true. Doug was riding Paris’ coat-tails. The break-up affected me in a good way. It’s definitely time for Paris to move on.”

And Paris’ mom Kathy agrees:

“I think Paris needs to be with someone who is a bit more mature, older and has their own thing.”

I agree, Kathy, but all of that would be a little easier if Paris were a little more mature, older, and had her own thing…

Benji Madden broke up with Paris Hilton a few months ago, and apparently watching her go through two more men made him sentimental for a gal of his own.

Thus he is now dating Pete Wentz’s baby sister Hillary.

The two love music and tattoos, so it’s obviously a match made in heaven. According to Star’s source, Hillary is perfect for the Good Charlotte musician:

“She has this tough chick energy he’s really into. And they have so much in common.”

That sounds like a profound connection…

Oh my gosh. Paris Hilton is BACK with Doug Reinhardt?!

Does Doug have a functioning brain? Could someone check on that, please?

Looks like Cristiano Ronaldo didn’t fix Paris’ broken heart, and the socialite began begging Doug to take her back. Incessant text messaging, showing up unexpectedly at his door at 4 a.m…. yes, Paris managed all of those.

And I guess it worked, because now the two are reportedly made up and happy.

For at last another 12 hours, I’m sure.

There is apparently more craziness attached to the Paris Hilton/Doug Reinhardt break-up than originally thought.

Paris heard that Doug was at Los Angeles’ Darkroom Tuesday night, and that he was hanging out with some beauty queen named Kendhal Beal. Paris beelined it there and stormed in. According to Page Six’s source, she even got a little violent:

“Paris got word that Doug was at the bar, and she showed up and started going at it.

Paris was picking up ice and fruit and throwing it at Kendhal — she was the victim. Kendhal did nothing offensive or aggressive. Paris was throwing accusations, calling her names. It was the same thing you always hear about Paris and her tirades.”

Oh, wow… Doug definitely dodged a bullet by escaping this situation.

Oh, wow.

In news of the slutty, Paris Hilton not only broke up with boyfriend Doug Reinhardt via her publicist, but literally jumped the next guy who came along.

Luckily for her, it was cute soccer boy Cristiano Ronaldo.

Last night the two were at Nobu, and had a great time according to one observer:

“Cristiano and Paris were all over each other swapping spit the entire night! His table needed every waitress in the building to service the large quantities of alcohol, and he spent in excess of $20,000 on champagne and drinks.”

Once Cristiano had the heiress sufficiently drunk, he took her home around 3 a.m.

Classy, Paris.

The Hilton heiress just dumped boyfriend Doug Reinhardt… but didn’t have the guts to do it herself. So she had her publicist make a public statement.

Although Doug thought things were a-okay when asked by E! Online, Paris’ rep told People, “In response to the enquiry on whethr Paris Hilton has split up with Doug Reinhardt, yes, this is true they are no longer together. They remain friends and ask that you please respect their privacy.”

I guess this means Paris’ wedding plans are off…