Nikki Blonsky and Bianca Golden don’t have to spend 2009 worrying about assault charges. Hurray!

The Hairspray and America’s Next Top Model stars got into an airport brawl this past July, with both making public accusations against the other. Now the only person who still has to deal with this mess is Carl Blonsky, who has been charged with assault and inflicting grievous bodily harm. If convicted, he could be in jail for up to five years.

Happy 2009.

Here are some of the best viral moments of 2008 — because today is the day to recap everything that was good, cheesy, and funny about the past year.

If you’re at work, you definitely need this to get you through the afternoon…. but turn down the sound because there are a few moments that aren’t safe for work.

Happy Wednesday and happy New Year!

Kelly Osbourne isn’t ready to have a baby, but that isn’t stopping mom Sharon from pushing her toward motherhood.

Kelly talked to Closer magazine about her mother’s desire for a grandbaby:

“She says, ‘Go on, Kelly, just one little baby.’ I’m not ready to have children yet. I’ve always wanted to have them — but not yet.”

That’s probably a good idea, since fiance Luke Worrall is practically still a child himself at only 18 years of age. Just say no to babies having babies.

This is not a woman you want to be photographed with.

Very-pregnant Jennifer Garner was seen at Cafe Luxxe yesterday with Dr. Holly Hein, a sex therapist famous for her book, Sexual Detours: The Startling Truth Behind Love, Lust, and Infidelity.

Umm….

Britney Spears is planning to spend New Year’s Eve in New Orleans — because that’s when and where her brother Bryan is getting married.

The practically unknown (read: semi-normal) Spears kid is tying the knot with Graciella Sanchez, who is Jamie Lynn’s manager. I guess Graciella is unemployed now that Jamie Lynn doesn’t have a career.

This also puts to rest the rumor that Britney was going to be out partying with the Bollywood guy.

Looks like DJ AM isn’t suing the pilots’ estates over the September plane crash that nearly took his life, as was reported by several media outlets. The star took to his blog yesterday to clear up the rumors:

Hello All -

Normally I don’t feel like I NEED to make a statement like this, but after I read some recently reported untruths I feel like I have to. I want to take a second to address the hurtful posts and clear up any misunderstandings any of you may have about my law suit. I would NEVER sue the deceased pilots’ estates or personal holdings. I am more than grateful that I survived this horrible accident and I’d never try to take anything from those that didn’t. Despite the misinterpretations of the lawsuit, this suit is against the insurance companies that insured the pilots. I’m not after Sarah’s or James’ personal estates nor their property. Everyone involved in this suit has suffered a great deal, and I would not do anything to make matters worse for the deceased family and friends. Daily I live with the guilt and grief of what happened that night, what I saw, who was lost and why I was spared. I have no words to express the pain that comes with knowing four people died, while I lived.

Adam “DJ AM” Goldstein

He usually seems like he’s moving forward and being strong, but from this post it seems he’s still struggling with guilt. So sad.

If Mariah’s pregnant, she’s off to a bad start. The singer was seen yesterday in St. Bart’s with husband Nick Cannon eating oysters and throwing back the red wine.

My guess is she’s getting irritated with the pregnancy rumors — that she encouraged — when her womb is empty, so this holiday vacation is another attempt to put a bun in the oven.

Good luck!

Queen Latifah’s been vacationing in Black Rock, Tobago with a female friend, but came back to her villa after a brunch to find $10,000 worth of jewelry missing. The items stolen included a bracelet, two gold rings, a gold chain, and a silver ring. Although the estate was searched, nothing turned up so the police were called in.

Police Commissioner James Philbert spoke to Trinidad and Tobago’s Newsday, saying, “Several searches are being carried out and the police are trying to have the jewelry returned to Queen Latifah. Investigators said the larceny seems to be an inside job and efforts are being made round the clock to make a breakthrough.”

Why is everyone so upset? It’s just a new holiday trend.

Beyonce might seem like she’s got it all, but she suffers, too. Like right now, the singer is dealing with the pain of being really, really successful.

Beyonce shot to fame with Destiny’s Child, launched a solo music career, and then pursued acting — all of the things she’s ever wanted. Now she tells Elle that it’s not so great being great:

“Being this huge pop star is not my focus right now. I’ve done that. I wanted to sell a million records, and I sold a million records. I wanted to go platinum, I went platinum. I’ve been working nonstop since I was 15. I don’t even know how to chill out.”

She took a deep breath, allowed a single tear to make its way down her cheek, and then launched into another monologue about growing up upper class and how different her childhood was from that of the poor trashy Jackson clan.

No, she didn’t, but probably considered it. Really, Beyonce ought to lay low for awhile because she’s just coming up with stupid things to say.

Is your cable channel selection getting smaller tomorrow? This sounds like a lousy way to start the new year!

Time Warner and Viacom are arguing over money, of course. Viacom wants to charge more for their channels, and Time Warner is refusing because they don’t want to raise prices for customers and risk losing them altogether.

Viacom put together this little snippet that puts the blame on Time Warner — conveniently forgetting to mention the money issue.

Are you saying goodbye to 19 channels in 2009?

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